We read the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey at our book club in January. Stephen R. Covey was an American educator, author, businessman who made teaching principled centered living and leadership his life’s work.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People book has been a best-seller for years. I read it years ago and have referred to it a few times. It was recommended at a leadership program I attended last year. When I started the book club, I figured it will be a great book to start the year with. I love how principles in the book can be applied to life, relationships, business, and so on. I will do my review in light of my key takeaways from the book.
Table of Contents
Defining success
Stephen Covey compared two schools of thought in defining success. The character ethic, which teaches basic principles of effective living and assumes people can only experience success by integrating these principles into their basic character and the personality ethic, which is to do with human and public relations and a positive mental attitude.
I believe a combination of character and personality is required for success. The caveat is that one’s personality has to be an offshoot of character. The central theme of the book is that incorporating new habits starts from the inside out (building character). This resonates with my money philosophy and how I believe the focus should be on creating value not making money and how in doing so we can still generate wealth. It is important that how we view money and success is based on sound principles.
Power of a paradigm
One of the most powerful messages from the book is that, for change to occur, there must be a paradigm shift. The book reiterates how much powerful conditioning, either through upbringing and experiences, colour our perspective. The following is one of the best quotes from the book to start the journey towards change;
“The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps or assumptions, and the extent to which we are influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view”.
Principles, character, and habit
Principles, character and values are a common thread in the book. Stephen describes principles as lighthouses and natural laws that cannot be broken. He also makes the distinction between principles and values. I reckon this is important because sometimes we use principles and values interchangeably. His portrayal that principles are the territory and values are the map is a bit confusing but I guess it means our values always point to the principles we hold dear.
Particular emphasis was given to the principle of growth and change and why we should accept and embrace the process. In today’s world of instant gratification, process and waiting are painful events. However, developing a habit is a process and to achieve gowth in effectiveness, we need to embrace the process.
The 7 habits
The 7 habits are grouped into 2 categories. Private victories (habit 1-3) and public victories (4-7). The private habits (1-3) deal with self-mastery (independence) and public victories (habit 4-7) is about interdependence. Private victories precede public victories, so fully adopting habits 1-3 is a prerequisite for 4-7.
Habit 1- Be proactive
The first habit is ‘be proactive’. Being proactive takes initiative and a decision to be self-aware. Stephen provides a proactive model that is very interesting. We identify our circle of concern and circle of influence, then we focus time and energy on our circle of influence. Therefore proactivity is about taking responsibility for the things in our circle of influence.
When we started the first lockdown in the UK, it was a bit shocking, stressful, and difficult at first. I struggled to cope with work, homeschooling, and so on. But I decided to change perspective and chose to see the positives. I realised it will be a once in a lifetime opportunity to bond as a family. That shift in perspective gave me so much clarity. Things started to feel easier. My workload was still the same but my attitude had changed. Being proactive is definitely the most important habit to start with. Without it there will be no desire to act on the other habits.
Habit 2- Start with the end in mind
The idea behind habit 2 is to think about how you want to be remembered after your death, then live based on that. Writing a personal mission statement was highly encouraged with guidance on how to do so. I liked the idea that you can write your mission statement for different roles. For instance, you can think about the different roles you assume e.g wife, parent, daughter, leader, employee, and so on. Then write a mission statement about how you want to live out those roles.
In the book, the importance of being principle-centered was emphasized as well as the danger of having alternative centers. For example, a person can be work-centered thus ignoring other roles. This was very important to me in understanding how to achieve balance. Also ensuring decisions and actions reflect both long term and short term implications was noted.
This second habit has so many applications to personal finance. We need to ensure we practice money habits that contribute to the success of our long term financial goals.
Habit 3- Put first things first
I liked Stephen’s matrix and the emphasis on personal management as opposed to time management. Like money, time is a resource that should be a means to an end. The following quotes from the book say it better:
“The objective of quadrant 2 (Important but not urgent) management is to manage our lives effectively from a center of sound principles, from a knowledge of our personal mission, with a focus on the important as well as the urgent, and within the framework of maintaining a balance between increasing our production and increasing our production capability”.
“True effectiveness requires balance and your tool needs to help create and maintain it”.
As a religious scheduler, I have been challenged on the basis I allocate my time. I am increasingly good at scheduling for work, my business, and so on. The rest seem to fall into place. After reading this I will be more intentional about ensuring my diary fully supports my personal mission. It is normal to focus on what needs to be done on the day, but scheduling time to work on long term goals is also needed. These are the important but not yet urgent stuff.
I loved the idea of paying attention to production capacity. For example reading a book is very important but will never seem urgent however, investing in personal development will help increase production capacity and effectiveess.
Habit 4- Think Win/Win
The habit of Win/win is about seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions. 5 dimensions/traits essential to create a win/win scenario was described in the book. Of the 5, I loved the abundance mentality trait the most. Sometimes we often think we have to compete for scarce resources. Having an abundance versus a scarcity mentality creates an environment for collaboration and interdependency. I also loved the assertion that it takes maturity to negotiate a win/win. This is because it takes courage and integrity to walk away from a scenario inferior to a win/win.
Habit 5- Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Seek first to understand. Before the problems come up, before you try to evaluate and prescribe, before you try to prevent your own ideas- seek to understand.
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
A lot of examples were given in the book to buttress habit 5. It is one of the habits I need to really work on. Often times we listen to respond. The key to seeking to understand is empathy. Emphatic listening is particularly important for leading effectively. Leadership is about influencing and to effectively influence you need to understand where people are coming from.
Habit 6 – Synergise: principles of creative cooperation.
Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum in parts. Stephen describes habit 5 as the principle of creative cooperation. Synergy is achieved when people become so unified in purpose they start to tap into deep levels of creativity. This is so relevant to the marriage relationship but the goal is to achieve synergistic communication in every aspect of life.
Promoting and achieving synergy in the workplace should be the goal of every leader. We all know what it is like working in environments with intense competition and a blame culture. It takes mastery of almost all the habits to achieve synergy so this habit earns its place as the penultimate habit.
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw
The last habit refers to renewing the four dimensions of nature. These dimensions include physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. Our physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional/social well-being is so paramount to achieving effectiveness. There are many examples given in the book on how to sharpen the different dimensions. We certainly need to exercise and eat healthily, sharpen our spiritual connection, develop our mental capacity, and pursue emotional/social wellness.
Conclusion
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is definitely a must-read for everyone trying to be more effective. It provides blue prints for a purpose and principle led life. Will you buy this book and read it following this review? Let me know what you think.
We will be reading The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy by Thomas J Stanley in February. Join me on Facebook to read and review. Have a valuable week!